Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
