I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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