i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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