Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
