Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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