I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize