The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
where are my eyebrows?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
