Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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