What a fucking waste of an outfit
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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