Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
