Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
