One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
