I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
