I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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