I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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