After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
