The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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