so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
