3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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