You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
