wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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