Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
