sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
