whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
