She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
