i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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