I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
