And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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