So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
