Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
