i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
