Umm I'm too high to move.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
