every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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