I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
