hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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