Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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