He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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