Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
