We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
