you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
