i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
