Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
