I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
