So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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