I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize