would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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