Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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