I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
