So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
