I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize