Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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