Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize