Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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