The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
