You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
