Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
