I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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