chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
