I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
