btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
