WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
