we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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