it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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