I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
