If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
