i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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