I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
