im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
