So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
