Heybabeimwearingurpanties
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
