I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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