help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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