Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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