I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
now i know why i became what i already was.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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