Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
