Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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