Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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